Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
