woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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