Is it because I queefed?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
