I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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