butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
