we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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