guys are only as good as the porn they watch
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
