all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
