We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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