just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
