I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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