There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
