distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
