Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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