My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
