Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
