had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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