I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
