i would punch a child for taco bell
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
