I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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