I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
