I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We left the knife in your bed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
