Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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