okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Randomize
