Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
