I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Alive.
So much puke
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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