lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
