I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
