So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
