1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
