I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
