i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
