I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
