I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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