Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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