You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
