I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
