you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
