mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize