The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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