What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My life is pants optional.
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