It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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