Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
