She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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