You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
