This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize
