i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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