Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
