I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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