i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
