I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize