did you get engaged???
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
