my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
