I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
