There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
