I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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