i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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