dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
