Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
