i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
