It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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