So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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