At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
