I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
