Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize