Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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