She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
